Plámásed by Ireland – 5 Days in the Charming South-West

Rabbie’s Bron reviews the 5-day Escape to the South-West tour from Dublin.  

Here’s a word you should know: plámásing. It was one of the first things I learned on my tour of Ireland. A very special word – a concept, if you will. A habit that the Irish adopt, and we were already subject to – the art of flattery. Sweet-talking. To be charmed.  

And Marcus, our driver-guide, was an expert at plámásing.  

As we hopped on board, my colleague Liam and I introduced ourselves to the other passengers. Yes, we were Rabbie’s employees and yes, we were there to gather content... but more than anything, I saw myself as just another adventurer looking to experience a part of Ireland I’d not yet explored. 

Another important thing you have to understand is that in Ireland there are two kinds of truths: the truth and the Irish truth. According to Marcus, the Irish were to thank for every good invention and every good thing to have happened... I suspect that might be the Irish truth, but he plámásed me enough to have me considering...  

Day 1: Kilbeggan Distillery, Clonmacnoise Monastic Site, & Galway 

If there’s one thing that’s important to the Irish, it’s their whiskey. Powerful, memorable, potent, utterly delicious – any whiskey fan will have probably already tried this Irish staple. So, of course our first stop was a distillery. As we pulled into Kilbeggan Distillery that quiet Sunday morning, we were informed that unfortunately the law prohibits drinking on Sunday mornings... especially Easter Sunday morning, which it was.  

As a non-drinker, this was fine with me personally – but getting to see the distillery up close is something I still thoroughly enjoy. In particular, the vintage design of this distillery had me snapping away, and there was something pleasant about the quietness of such a dramatic place on a Sunday morning. The fairy lights draped over iron works. The aged crates stamped with John Locke & Co, Established 1757, Kilbeggan Whiskey. The enormous dark grey stills looming behind Marcus as he regaled us with the story of how Kilbeggan began. 

And what trip to Ireland is complete without some ruins? We journeyed along the River Shannon to the Clonmacnoise Monastic Site. Back in the 6th century, an abbot by the name of St Ciarán founded Clonmacnoise. The monastery flourished into a university and people from all over the world came to study at this hub of learning.  

Liam hijacked Marcus for a little chat of the ruins – wanting to know all about it. I listened to Marcus’ soothing Irish tones as I let my gaze wander over the high Celtic crosses and low gravestone slabs. Not to mention that these abbots knew a thing to two about location. Perched along the shores of the river, I’m only a little jealous that people once got to study and live here.

A traditional pub lunch is always on the cards in Ireland but what I loved most about dining at Luker’s Bar & Restaurant in the village of Shannonbridge was the bathroom was located in their old Irish pub. Attached to the new dining venue is the original pub dating back to 1757 – left in all its glory. From the old shop to the kitchen and fireplace, it’s definitely worth a look.  

Our on-board crew were already bonding, getting into the swing of Ireland, and Marcus was open to hearing our wants and desires. Something I love about having a local guiding us around is you learn things you’d normally have missed. Take ‘Puck Fair’, for instance. It’s Ireland’s oldest festival in which a goat is crowned the ‘Puck King’ and put on a pedestal for three days (today, the goat is treated very well, acclimatized to the conditions beforehand, and released afterwards). All around is a street fair with booths, dancers, singers, you name it. Marcus told us about how his grandpa never left Ireland in his life but would travel across the country to attend this festival every year.  

After stopping in at a castle by the side of the road (which is something that just happens in Ireland), we arrived in Galway city for the night. This is a city steeped in history – from the Spanish Arch to collegiate churches – but the pubs are filled with friendly locals, delicious food, and often a hub for live performances. And what is Ireland without a pub visit (or three) to soak up the potency of a Guinness as you find yourself growing more gleeful the longer the band plays, tempted to jump up and dance right there among the tables.  

Day 2: The Burren, Cliffs of Moher, & Killarney 

Today was a humbling day, the kind of day when you realise just how small and insignificant you are when compared to Mother Nature. 

Our morning was like stepping back in time – to a crumbling church sitting quietly in the Irish countryside, waiting to be admired. And then to the Burren, a stark limestone landscape, shades of grey arranged in such a way it almost looks as if a dragon had scratched its claws through the surfaces before you. This rocky fantasy-scape is one of Ireland’s national treasures. Among the limestone pavements, rare flora and evidence of one of Ireland’s earliest Christian settlements are waiting for you to discover. 

But that’s almost nothing compared to what came next. Remember what I said about humbling? Sea waves crashed below. Sea birds swooped above. The Cliffs of Moher stretched out to my right and left. And I stood there, staring out at the ocean as Liam panned around me with his camera, where I knew my directive was to ‘act like you’re in awe’... but I wasn’t acting.  

Part of me wished I could reenact that scene from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince where Harry and Dumbledore stood on a tiny, rocky island surrounded by a raging sea, looking back at the plummeting Cliffs of Moher. However, I do realise it was a fantasy movie... still. Kind of tempting. 

It's the kind of place that reminds you that we, as humans, simply cannot compete with Mother Nature. We can't make anything as magnificent as this, can we? Surely not. The layers upon layers of ancient rock, history literally on display for all to see, though it means little to us. We weren't there, we don't know what those lines and layers and impressions signify... but we can have fun imagining. 

After a wee bit of exploring, I simply sat and took it all in. A moment to breathe. People bustled around me – snapping photos, having fun, and enjoying the rare Irish sun that shone down on our greedy skin.

After lunch, we headed further south through County Clare and found ourselves at Lahinch Beach. A wide stretch of beige sand yawned out before us, the water still and inviting. And what’s the saying... ‘there’s always one’? Well, in this case – it was the Australian on tour (not me) that stripped down to his swimwear and took a dip in the North Atlantic. Better him than me. Though I am a fan of a wild swim here and there, I wasn’t quite in the mood. Instead, I snapped pictures of his swim, of the family skipping rocks, of the horses trailing up the beach.  

I’m normally quite nervous of ferry rides as I’m prone to seasickness but luckily, the sun was out and the water was calm as we crossed the Shannon Estuary to the lakeside town of Killarney.  

I have to say: I am a huge fan of Killarney and I’m so glad we got to spend three nights in this town. There are so many restaurants to choose from, dozens of cute shops, and endless pubs – many with live music. It was a little overwhelming, to be honest. But it wasn’t ‘big-big’. It still held that small-town charm. Easy to walk to and from the hotel, pick and choose which establishments to be lured into.  

Day 3: Dingle Peninsula & Star Wars 

I’ve been looking forward to days 3 and 4 of this tour, and they were everything I’d hope they’d be. Best part? Somehow – SOMEHOW – we got incredibly lucky with the weather, and it was sunny most of the time. I even got sunburnt... which I didn’t realise was possible in Ireland.  

Day 3 we journeyed into the Dingle Peninsula and along one of Ireland’s biggest draws: the Wild Atlantic Way. The rugged beauty of this coastline is hard to ignore and it’s one of the longest defined coastal routes in the world. 

The Peninsula is a place where glorious beaches merge with classic Irish scenery... where Gaelic mysteries sit alongside towering forts and incredible beaches. Today is all about the views, and our first stop was the vast expanse of sand known as Inch Beach. I promise it’s bigger than it sounds.  

We stopped at so many incredible viewpoints, each wild and dramatic, but in their own unique ways. Each fighting for our attention. Each filling up space on my camera. I’ve lost track of how many views I saw to be perfectly honest. But the photos and videos I took are the best souvenirs I could have asked for. 

The Force is strong in this part of Ireland. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about – the mammoth movie franchise Star Wars visited Ireland for one of its recent instalments. The striking island of Skellig Michael played a small, but pivotal, role in 2015’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens.  

The beehive-shaped huts on Skellig have since become rather famous and the Star Wars crew even built similar huts around Dingle Peninsula. But rather than taking us to the frequented huts that cost more, Marcus knew of a better option. 

We headed a little further along the coast to where this lovely man welcomes people onto his land to explore the beehive huts for a small donation. These huts are scattered along the coastline, an air of mystery hovering around them like fog on an early winter’s morning. How old are they? That’s part of the mystery. Perhaps the 8th century, or perhaps the 12th – either way, they’ve seen a lot. 

I may have been briefly distracted by the pen of Border Collie puppies and nearby sheep and lambs before I finally dragged myself away to explore the huts. Thanks to their links to the Star Wars films, I felt as if I was on a movie set. The irony is that these huts are as real as you and me, they’re a part of Ireland’s wild and passionate history.  

While their shapes are owed to an ancient method of construction found in the area, they have a magical feeling about them, as if they were something from a book (or movie) instead.  

Speaking of unusually-shaped stone buildings – Marcus showed us the way to one of Ireland’s most beautiful ancient buildings: the Gallarus Oratory. It’s believed to be over 1000 years old and is the most preserved church in Ireland.  

It’s a small little church but we had fun exploring it regardless – especially once Marcus told us of the local legend. At the back of the church is a tiny window – no glass, just a gap in the stone. Legend has it that if you climb through the window (impossible for most), you can go straight to heaven. Not sure that’s a great deal, though. 

Throughout the whole trip we passed through village after village, or towns so quiet you’d think they were villages. Ireland’s countryside is a sleepy little place, where the police stations are only open for a few hours a couple days a week. And, for the most part, people head to the police station to get their passports stamped. The police don’t even carry guns because, according to Marcus, they instead “kiss the Blarney Stone and have to plámás everyone.”  

Another ‘Irish truth’, perhaps?  

We spent the afternoon in the charming seaside town of Dingle where, among other things, I indulged in the local must-have at Murphy’s Ice Cream. Established back in 2000 by the Murphy brothers, their use of milk from the rare and indigenous breed of Kerry cows makes their ice cream beloved throughout the country.  

Dingle is a dangerous place. Each shop called to me, in particular the striking celtic jewelry shops glistening like caves of treasure waiting for me to discover. I have a hard time resisting... so I didn’t. I particularly loved sitting water-side and watching the statue of Fungie (the Dingle Dolphin) become a playground for this little girl and her mother. Fungie is Dingle's local 'mascot', if you will, and she's Dingle's most famous resident, welcoming visitors for over thirty years. 

And the pubs had their tricks to lure us in, too. So many brightly coloured – yellows and greens and blues – with bold lettering and fun decorations on the facade as a means of enticing you inside. My favourite was definitely Foxy John’s - half pub, half hardware store. Dark, cosy, and a little bit rustic, it was like stepping into your dad’s shed in the backyard. 

Day 4: The Ring of Kerry 

And now for day four – a journey around the wonderous Ring of Kerry. Finding susinct words to describe it is hard. Dreamlike? Dramatic? Downright incredible? It’s the kind of place where the water sparkles and the hills actually roll. Where jaws drop nearly as far as the cliffs as both you and your camera’s gazes are stolen.  

The weather gods blessed us yet again and we headed for our first stop: to meet Tom, Tess and the fluffy crew of Kells Sheepdogs. 

It was the start of their demonstration season, and we were the only ones there – I am so grateful we didn’t miss out on this! Breeder Tom introduced us to his team of Border Collies, the star of the show being a cute yet determined Tess. After Tom told us all about how Kells Sheepdogs came to be – and about Tess’ success on the competition scene – we were treated to an impressive demonstration of Tess’ sheep-herding skills.  

What I like about this day of the tour is that it’s flexible – and the driver-guides will listen to their passengers as well as the weather before deciding where to stop.  

I’m so glad we stopped where we did next for two reasons. First, the interactions I had with the other passengers – my new friends by this point – were hilarious. Second, because of the lamb. 

Again, having a local guide pays off. Instead of going to the ‘official’ car park where one is forced to pay (despite it being open to the public), Marcus knew of another way to see the Cahergal Stone Fort. 

Upon arrival, a man was waiting by the boot of his car with a wee black lamb. Both myself and Lucia nearly lost our minds as we cuddled the baby animal. Eventually, we dragged ourselves away to explore the fort. Stone walls 6 meters high, 3 meters thick, built around 600AD... this is one impressive site. It’s a bit of a nerve-wrecking climb for those of us afraid of heights (Lucia and I... again) but many laughs were had because of this.  

Our journey around the Ring continued and we were lucky to have clear enough skies to spot the famous Skellig Michael islands on the horizon.  

I personally adored the view from Kerry Cliffs – an extra little stop on our tour, as Marcus thought they were well worth a visit. And while he appreciates the beauty of the Cliffs of Moher, Marcus pointed out that the Kerry Cliffs are 200 feet higher and are far less crowded. Grey and white streaks of rock, grassy patches spotted with delicate pink flowers that did not at all match the starkness of the cliffs, the ocean swirling at its base, white frothing water colliding with this undeniably beautiful location. 

Day 5: Blarney Castle & Kilkenny 

Remember my earlier comment about the police having to kiss the Blarney Stone? Well, I’ve done that now and I do think I’ve become even more eloquent since. 

An Irish truth? Who knows. 

Blarney Castle was always going to be a great time for me – because when you say the words ‘medieval stronghold’ I am instantly sold. And anywhere that has a Poison Garden is fine by me. Keep hold of your little ones and make sure you don’t eat, touch, or smell any of the plants... just to be safe. The beauty of this garden is deceiving and, while the garden was created to educate visitors about poisonous plants, it feels unnatural to take a gentle stroll among deadly flora. But that’s half the fun, isn’t it?  

We visited in a quieter time of year, which meant there was no line to kiss the stone! There are plenty of signs leading to the stone. It almost felt like a treasure hunt, the way we wove through castle room after castle hallway, spotting the signs, climbing winding staircases, squeezing through spaces so tight it was like the castle was trying to hug us. But it was all worth it. At we emerged at the top of one particularly dramatic tower, I was briefly distracted by the view before making my way to the stone.  

Make sure you’re not too afraid of heights for this one – and definitely make sure your pockets are empty before attempting to kiss the stone. Luckily, there is always a castle employee there to assist – holding onto your waist as you grip the handles and lean far back to give the stone an old smooch. 

As we wove our way back towards Dublin, we made a few extra stops – our final being the town of Kilkenny. Marcus told us of a local Irish game known as hurling, which involves a field, a stick and a ball. Sounds simple enough, but it’s the national game of Ireland. According to Marcus, the “first thing they put into your crib is a hurling stick”. And Kilkenny is the home of hurling. We didn’t see a game, but we had a great wander around town, starting at the enormous and domineering Kilkenny Castle. I didn’t head inside, but the facade of this 13th century giant is certainly impressive, reminiscent of the dramatic manors and castles you see in movies like Pride and Prejudice.  

It’s a great place to start your adventures before making your way to Kilkenny’s Medieval Mile. From here you can pop into the 13th century St. Mary’s Church which is now a museum sharing the secrets of this city and its medieval past, or perhaps you’re content to wander the shops and grab something to eat.  

As we made our way back to Dublin for the end of the tour, I started wondering how long it might be before I found myself back in Ireland. I already know I can’t go as long this time before I visit again. 

Marcus when said: “I’ll drop you in Dublin and you can get on with the rest of your lives”, it made me think... what is a life without Ireland?